Affairs of the Heart

It never ceases to amaze me what people can justify. And, that somehow, in today's world, for some people, technology sanitizes actions. For example, if there is no touching, somehow extra-marital affairs are harmless. (What?) "Honey, we just had phone sex. It was no big deal..." Pleeeeassseee! 

So, in this world of new rules, if you have an emotional affair, but not a sexual one, that's ok. If you take yourself from your spouse and give those emotions to another, particularly someone of the opposite sex, but there is no sex involved - no "touching" so to speak - that's not wrong. You're just...what?... "good friends"? Never mind those emotions  - with or without sex attached - are meant for your spouse! Or, at least I'm pretty sure your spouse thinks so!

Or, if you move one step forward and start having sexual conversations with each other, over the phone, over the internet, texting, via chat, or whatever...or sending lewd photos, that's not wrong, not an affair. Anthony Weiner could have 6 of those and say he never had sex with any of them and somehow that "technicality" makes it ok. 

So, how does that sense of "right and wrong" play in your affairs (no pun intended) as a politician, Mr. Weiner? One thing we do not need more of in DC is parsing politicians. 

But, I'll play the game. So, ok. This is all just fine & dandy for American couples. (Especially those "uninformed" spouses out there. Wanna guess what their vote would be?) Meanwhile, what next? How far can you go with that line of logic before you wake up and say, "This is nonsense! I am cheating!" 

Or, are you just helping yourself to a little harmless fun that you somehow believe you DESERVE? I mean, you work so hard and everything. Even your spouse would agree on that point! (Heavy sigh.)

How can we be this oblivious? 

It's one thing to cheat and know you're cheating. But, there are a whole lot of confused individuals in today's world, who clearly do not KNOW what cheating is. (And, with our culture and its role models, who can fault them?) Sure, there are a lot of politicians, celebraties who make the headlines. Wanna fathom a guess at how many ordinary people they represent? I shudder. 

Let me break it down for you. 

You do something with someone about which you cannot tell your spouse. (And, it does not involve planning her surprise birthday party.) 

That is cheating. 

You THINK about doing something with someone about which you cannot tell your spouse. (And, it wasn't just a weird dream. You created and entertained these thoughts.) 

THAT is cheating! 

You do something that if your spouse did the same thing, you'd be LIVID. (And, it does not involve bouncing the checkbook.) 

THAT IS CHEATING!

In case, the point is not made clear yet, a refresher course on ethics: CHEATING IS WRONG!  (Is this where "relative ethics" has us now?)

Matthew 5:28 New International Version (NIV)

28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Matthew 5:28 The Message (MSG)

 27-28"You know the next commandment pretty well, too: 'Don't go to bed with another's spouse.' But don't think you've preserved your virtue simply by staying out of bed. Your heart can be corrupted by lust even quicker than your body. Those leering looks you think nobody notices—they also corrupt.

Notice that last bit. Not, "they ARE also corrupt" but  a more active, "they also CORRUPT." It is what is in your HEART that corrupts! It is what is in your HEART that is wrong! And, it acts on you. Those thoughts act like an acid and burn away the integrity you thought you had and corrupt your mind, heart & soul. And, relationships. You either recognize it and turn from it, or invite it in for tea. And, if you do the latter, pretty soon you have justified your way around the corruption, fooling yourself into believing that "relatively speaking" you're not doing anything wrong. Right? And, GOTCHA! You've been had. 

Then, when you go and ACT on that heart, you are way past the point of no return! But, it doesn't matter. Even before you ACTED, you crossed the line. You have COMMITTED the corruption. You ARE the corruption. So, just don't go there in the first place. Then, there will be nothing to explain later. 

What will Anthony Weiner's yet unborn child have to say someday about this. "Well, I'd like to have known my father, but apparently, he had a problem with sending lewd photos to women besides my mom and mom just had a problem with that. Might have been nice if I'd been out of the womb by that time so I could have told him what I learned before I got here on Planet Earth, that where I come from that sort of thing is a HUGE no-no. Especially with people like my mom. But, unfortunately, I got here too late. I get to see dad every other week on Tuesdays, meanwhile." 

Sad. Just pitiously sad. And, it goes on all across America as fast as you can say, "Tweet."

Maybe spouses like Mr. Weiner, confused as to the interpretation of their wedding vows, will find themselves married to people who read and took to heart the love chapter, I Corinthians 13. And, there will be forgiveness, repentance, healing....and love. We can only hope.

More on this topic here.